Every year, when Christmas rolls around, I sit down with a stack of cards and stare at them blankly. I want to write something fun, something that’ll make people smile, but somehow, I always end up with the same boring “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.” Last year, I decided to do something different. I searched for funny Christmas card messages to make my greetings stand out. I wasn’t sure how it would go, but the responses were amazing. My friends couldn’t stop laughing, and even my usually serious uncle sent me a thumbs-up.
If you’ve been stuck like me, don’t worry—I’ve done the work for you. Here are 40 funny and witty Christmas card messages that will make your cards the most memorable ones this year.
General Funny Christmas Card Messages
- “Christmas calories don’t count—so enjoy the cookies!”
- “Dear Santa, I can explain…”
- “Merry Christmas! May your gifts be expensive, and your returns hassle-free!”
- “It’s the most wine-derful time of the year. Cheers!”
- “Christmas is all about peace, love, and great leftovers!”
Playful Holiday Puns Christmas Card Messages
- “Have an elfing good Christmas!”
- “Yule be sorry if you don’t enjoy this holiday season!”
- “I’m sleigh-in this Christmas card game!”
- “The holidays: the only time when giving gifts helps everyone forget their problems.” – Don Marquis
- “Fleece Navidad! (Wishing you a warm and cozy holiday).”
Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages For Family and Friends
- “Merry Christmas from the family who spends 10 hours decorating for a 10-minute unwrapping spree.”
- “Hope your holiday season is better than the Christmas family photo.”
- “All I want for Christmas is for my kids to stop fighting for five minutes. Santa, you listening?”
- A guy goes through three phases in life: believing in Santa, not believing in Santa, and becoming Santa. – Robert C. Phillips
- “May your family drama stay in the movies this Christmas!”
Santa Humor Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages
- “Santa saw your Instagram. You’re definitely on the naughty list!”
- “Don’t stop believing… unless you’re too tired to wrap presents.”
- “You know you’re an adult when socks on Christmas make you happy.”
- “Santa works hard, but Mom works harder!”
- “Santa called. He needs help with your gift—because you already have everything!”
Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages For the Lighthearted Jokesters
- “I told Santa you’ve been good this year. He laughed. A lot.”
- “Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle. Merry Christmas!”
- “It’s all fun and games until you realize the credit card bill is due in January.”
- “Wishing you more joy and fewer tangled lights!”
- “May your holidays sparkle more than your tree lights.”
Short and Snappy Christmas Card Messages
- “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name—Merry Christmas!”
- “Fa la la la la… whatever.”
- “Cheers to a Merry Christmas and no broken ornaments!”
- “Eat, drink, nap, repeat. It’s the Christmas way!”
- “Wishing you a stress-free Christmas—good luck with that!”
Funny Gift-related Notes
- “Consider this card your Christmas gift. You’re welcome!”
- “I told Santa you wanted cash. Let’s see how that goes.”
- “Your gift is in the mail… or maybe not. Merry Christmas!”
- “I’d get you something fancy, but I’m saving up for next Christmas.”
- “Hope you love your gift. If not, I’ll take it back!”
Self-deprecating Humor Christmas Card Messages
- “This card is proof I remembered you this Christmas. You’re welcome!”
- “Sorry, I ate your cookies. Merry Christmas!”
- “If you don’t like this card, I’ll blame the printer.”
- “This Christmas card may be funny, but my wrapping skills are no joke.”
- “Sending you love this season, mostly because I forgot to buy a gift.”
Conclusion:
These Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages are guaranteed to make your holiday cards stand out this year. Whether you choose a quick one-liner, a pun-filled joke, or a Santa-themed zinger, the goal is simple—bring smiles and laughter to your loved ones.
Don’t settle for plain greetings when you can make someone chuckle during the holidays. So, grab your cards, add some clever humor, and let your Christmas messages shine as bright as your tree lights.
Merry Christmas and happy laughing!
