Can you believe it’s nearly the end of another year already? Stay quiet about your failure to keep your New Year’s resolutions. Consider the impending Christmas holiday instead. Looking for a witty saying, joke, or famous phrase to use in your holiday greeting card message? We have gathered a selection of 80 humorous Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages for your perusal and use. Keep reading to have a good laugh and steal one (or more) of these quotes for yourself. After all, the spirit of Christmas is one of giving to others.
Here are 40 Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages;
- For Christmas, I only want you to click on the link to my wish list of Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages.
- This year, candles on the tree aren’t the only item that will be lit.
- When asked what they were selling in the store, the three sages had to say. Frankincense and Gold. On the other hand! A jar of myrrh is included.
- A gingerbread ninja is known as what?
- When Santa uses Apple Maps, what do you call him? Santa Claus got separated from his sleigh.
- If you’re going to damage yourself, you should make sure you’re okay first. (I’m really sorry.)
- Singing loudly and out of tune during the holiday season is the easiest way to have people run away from you.
- Is there a name for a noisy reindeer? Rudolph.
- It’s time to get out of the hard stuff and get into the holiday mood.
- If you consume enough Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages ornaments, what do you get? Tinselitis.
- I’m sure Santa spotted your Instagram. Christmas presents include a muumuu and a Bible.
- Having fun at Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages is as easy as thanking Santa Claus.
- Santa Claus is crossing his fingers that you’ve been nice this year.
- It is my sincere wish that you get many presents and have few returns or swaps.
- I spent so much time contemplating what to get you as a present that I forgot to go out and get it. Regardless, best wishes for the holiday season!
- “On the first day of Christmas, my real love presented to me…” And did you remember to hang on to the receipt?
- Singing Christmas carols with Yoda: Wishing you the best this holiday season. We hope you have a very happy holiday season.
- I’m going to become totally hammered by sprinting, dancing, and practicing.
- Like Santa Claus less and come see me more often, please.
- I hope this holiday season brings you all the peace, joy, and Cabernet Sauvignon you can handle.
- Have a wonderful holiday and a peaceful new year.
- A gingerbread ninja is known as what? It’s ninjas! (This is the one Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages joke that never gets old!)
- Having fun at Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages is as easy as thanking Santa Claus.
- This is the most amazing time of year for wine.
- Let us take time over the holidays to appreciate what really matters: your Cookies.
- Remember those advertisements when the gift is a shiny new automobile adorned with a huge red bow? Not going to happen, that’s for sure.
- Holiday treats and new toys can only be found at home.
- Gift-giving is not the point of the holiday. This is a story about loved ones… and spiral ham…. and who’s bringing the spiral ham from the family?
- I realize we repeat ourselves every year, but… so let’s go out caroling nonetheless… I swear to God, no! It’ll be a huge hit in the neighborhood!
- All I want for Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages is YOU, but a new credit card would be nice, too.
- “Christmas is like an extravagant baby shower.” To paraphrase Andy Borowitz
- According to my spouse, the best way to get into the holiday mood is to adopt a Scrooge persona. With thanks to Melanie White
- Giving a youngster a practical gift on Christmas is the cruelest thing you could do, the saying goes. – Kin Hubbard
- I love Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages, because it’s the one time of year when giving presents, may help people forget their problems. — Don Marquis
- It’s not simply the holiday spirit making you feel so fuzzy inside. I guess you forgot the oven was on. “The best part about Christmas is that, like a rainstorm, everyone has to experience it at some point.” As stated by Garrison Keillor
- At the age of six, I decided Santa didn’t exist. My mom brought me to a mall to see him, and I remember him asking for my signature. Shirley Temple
- A guy goes through three distinct phases in his life: believing in Santa Claus, not believing in Santa Claus, and becoming Santa Claus. Robert C. Phillips
- No Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages this year. You made a big mistake by telling Santa you’ve been nice this year. He was laughing as he passed away.
- During this holiday season, may you find yourself surrounded by ho’s?
- We hope that the Christmas season finds your nuts safe and sound.
- If you’re going to damage yourself, you should make sure you’re okay first.
- Let’s be bad and keep Santa from having to make an appearance.
- Every time I think of you, I reach for my elf.
- Singing loudly and out of tune during the holiday season is the easiest way to have people run away from you.
- Already it’s Christmas again? The Elf on the Shelf is very confused.
- No one wants to wake up to their spouse in their stocking on Funny and Witty Christmas Card Messages in the morning.
- For the most part, Christmas is celebrated by youngsters. Still, we grownups may take pleasure in it too—at least until the credit card statements come.
- I like using the holiday season as an opportunity to reach out to friends and family members by sending greeting cards. I’m happy to report that you’ve remained on my list for another year.
- In the New Year, may your wallet be as light as your wallet is fun Happy Holidays!
- My new Christmas cake recipe is sure to please. Shut the cupcakes, it’s the holidays!
- This year I couldn’t afford to buy you a Christmas Gift, so instead, I decided to give you one myself.
- We should have listened to Santa all along. Only sees relatives once a year. Genius!
- From a mental standpoint, I am well prepared for the holidays. Financially? Never will I be prepared.
